Im spending the core winter in Old Mine recidency, in North-Kaerlia by myself and contemporary dancer Pavle Heidler. Im going thru the plans for next year, i have drawn a huge chedule on the wall but im also working on tiny details, polishing meanings of some specific words line “contemplation” or “nonsensous”. Im enjoying and using this time and space the best way i know how. The recidency is offered freely by Outokumpu city and Taike, so im grateful for that.
Currently i am making a research on the writings of Lucy Blackmann, an autistic author who describes her experience of reality and social interaction through writing. Blackman makes a distinction between the neurodiverse and the neurotypicals. She describes her bodily experience of being in the world as something not solid, where it is difficult to determine where the body ends and the world begins.
“Remember that my body and its“ Orbit ”include my thoughts, my real emotions, and what I call my“ feelings. ” These are not the same as what you people, i.e. neurotypicals, call “feelings” but are my carrying … vibrations, flashes, visual-blocks, touch-horrors, smell-tickles and the cross-over that comes from them. ” -Lucy Blackman, Carrying Autism.
Lucy Blackman (born 1972) is the first autistic non-verbal person in Australia to become an officially published writer with her book Lucy’s Story published in 2001, written with the help of facilitated communication. Writing serves as a way for him to articulate and connect with neurotypicals. In her text, she describes her experience of the world as continuous flux, where the experiences are not fragmented into a time with a beginning, a middle, and an end.
“I think that now people see themselves as moving between the things and the space on each side of them, so that the area in front comes up and parts before their faces, because that is how the television camera shows “reality.” Somehow I use space differently. My space envel- opes me as if I were in a cocoon, and the items and other aspects of my environment enter and leave that cocoon.”.
She describes the incentive she faces to act like a neurotypical, to act independently, and to want goals that come from the realm of neurotypicals. In doing so, she becomes visible for others, but yet she raises her own way of perceiving reality as the primary experience, which works as a invisible base of the neurotypicals’ experience of reality. The capacity to directly perceive experience in-forming, what she calls autistic perception, involves a continuous carrying, a moving-with of experience in the making.
Lucy Blackmann’s text on the inner perception of autism reminds me a lot of the aesthetic experience of art. The word aesthetic means a sensory-experienced, immediate experience of being here in which the relation between the subject and the object is so intimate, safe and sound that there is no room for separate self. The aesthetic experience may happen in interpersonal space, or in interaction with other physical or mental objects. What’s so special about the aesthetic experience is the continuative quality of energy circulation between me and you, or me and it. I become absorbed into the object of my consciousness so that I gain access to the nature of things within. Because this absorption is rather inner than an outer phenomena, you can’t make an art-piece that reproduces aesthetic experience by a snap of your fingers. The aesthetic experience is a subtle and beautiful potential embedded in all humans, but it takes a little while to get aligned into it. It’s like the rose in “the Little Prince ” novel, it rather chooses itself when it’s her time to bloom.
The research of Lucy Blackmann´s writings is a part of a comission by Titanik -gallery, a forthcoming sound installation “Where You Are” at Kogo -Gallery in Tartu, Estonia. Opening in fall 2022.
More about Lucy Blackman here:
Pavle Heidlers webpage: